Over the past few weeks I’ve had about enough adulting.
I mean there’s just so much responsibility…
Marriage – children – career – oil changes – budgeting – saving – healthy eating – working out – laundry – cleaning – and pulling the ever-loving and never fading weeds from my garden. And, everyday we American’s are faced with another horrible news story that we couldn’t even dream possible 10 years ago – a threat – a crisis – a catastrophe. Then there’s the ever daily struggle to just be nice to other humans.
The gal who cuts you off in traffic… be nice. The man who gives you the mean look because your two-year-old just announced to the entire restaurant that she has to poop… be nice.
Or maybe that special someone in the grocery store who rolls their eyes as you allow the children to have the free cookie… be nice.
What I want to say is, “Listen Mr. (or Ms.), believe me, you want them to have the cookie. Publix wants them to have the cookie, and I, more than anyone, want them to have the cookie. It’s keeping us all sane, so stop judging me”. But, I just smile, move on and whisper quietly to myself “be nice”.
There’s no real reason for this adult tantrum I’m having – no specific event, no tragedy or adversity – just a 36-year-old internal tantrum. As my mother used to say, “it’s probably a phase”.
And, right in the midst of my inner struggle with adulting, my husband left town for 12 days – yep TWELVE. That’s almost my limit. Since having children I’ve come to realize that I can keep my act together for a good 14 days. After that, all bets are off and mama might go a little crazy around day 15 – and if this blessed event should go past 30 days – well, that’s really something special to watch.
Y’all when he’s gone, I adult so hard.
Sometimes I just want pull the blanket over my head and daydream about a time when life wasn’t so complicated.
So, this past Friday, after a long stressful day at work doing all sorts of adulty things, I picked my kids up from daycare and my car kinda drove itself to a random little sports center close to home. When we pulled in, my seven-year-old almost lost his mind.
“Go karts, Mom, are you kidding me?!?”
You got it! I strapped myself and my daughter into the two-seater and raced my son – after the appropriate amount of trash talk, of course. My daughter laughed and screamed so much I thought she was going to vomit and my son, well he beat me, which was maybe the highlight of his year. We also played putt-putt, went to Dairy Queen and I may have even introduced my children to a little old-school Britney Spears.
I’m talking about the pre-2007, pre-breakdown Britney. I know the songs and appropriately screened them – so just calm down.
For a moment, all of the adultness melted away. We were easy breezy and care free. It was almost like I was driving around in my pre-mom car. A red Honda Civic. 5-speed with the spoiler on the back. Except this time there were two kids riding along in the back seat. It was amazing and I scored some major mom points.
When I got home, however, I had to pull up my big girl britches and turn back into that adult we all know and love. I’m pretty sure that all Britney all the time may lead to a little recap of 2007 and I, for one, would like to refrain.
I’ve thought a lot about my little internal tantrum over the past few days. Really more about the source of the tantrum than anything. And, maybe the reason I’ve felt discouraged is because sometimes it feels like all of my efforts are really meaningless.
Do you ever get there? It’s not just me, right?
One of my favorite memes is:
“If a woman speaks and no one is listening, her name is probably Mom”.
Doesn’t that describe motherhood and sometimes adulthood so well. We do all this adulting – the parenting, the marriaging, the cooking, the cleaning. We pull the weeds, we work the shifts, and carry all this responsibility, and for what? Is anyone even listening? I mean, who’s gonna know or even care if we slack off a little?
That was precisely my attitude at the end of last week and then I remembered a little scripture I have hanging on my bulletin board in my office at work.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” Galatians 6:9.
Doesn’t it just burn your biscuits when God gives you little reminder to do the right thing when you are so prepared to go in another direction. I mean I need a break people. I’m ready to sign up for the sequel of Bad Moms and then I get that friendly reminder.
But, the more I’ve thought about this scripture the more truth I see. Y’all there is a harvest that we will reap in our marriage, our children, our career, our health, our home, and even our country if we do not give up.
We must turn our focus from our current situation to our desired outcome. In some ways this is literally cause and effect. Just think about it. In order to live a healthy life you must eat a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise. Not just once, but over and over and over. I think the same thing is true for most things in life. If I want my children to grow up to be nice, honest humans, I must show them this example over and over and over. If I want to be respected in my career, I must work hard and do the right thing over and over and over. And, although it’s a biblical principle this makes sense for everyone, right. It’s the over and over and over that probably makes the difference.
While I’m dropping truth bombs, let me just continue because I think I need to hear this more than anyone. When Paul wrote this letter to the Galatian church, he included this little phrase “proper timing”. Newsflash…he wasn’t talking about their timing or your timing either. He’s talking about God’s timing.
God’s timing is a whole different ballgame, people. Sometimes, if I’m honest, I want God’s plan but I’m not so interested in his timing. I’m a right now kinda girl – I like instant gratification and I’m guessing so do you. But, keep reading the rest of the verse. “In the proper time we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up”. A harvest of blessings, people. Not just one blessing from time to time but a whole crop full. And just for the record, I’ll provide a little farming lesson – crops are harvested at maturity. Therefore, maybe as we do the right thing over and over and over we are ever maturing in order to receive the harvest that is surely coming.
So, when the weight of adulting gets oh so heavy, don’t quit. Don’t grow weary in doing good. Keep going. And, on those days when you’ve just had enough, give me a call. I’ll meet you at the go kart track. We’ll play some putt-putt, go to Dairy Queen and I’ll even ride you around in that old red Honda Civic – 5 speed with a spoiler on the back (it’s really my SUV but we’ll pretend). Windows rolled down, Britney turned up, and we’ll dream about a time when life wasn’t so complicated. Then we’ll pull up our big girl britches and push each other forward because we’ve got a harvest to reap and we won’t give up.