I came up with the idea of a blog named “road hard” several years ago, but never had the guts to actually put this into practice. I’ve tried and tried to find a better name but I always come back to this. It describes my life so well – the obvious reason is that my husband is a touring musician and he’s on the road all the time – but in reality its much deeper than that, and if you’re honest it probably describes your life too.
We are all on a road – sometimes we take the direct route, sometimes we go around the mountain. Sometimes the road is curvy, sometimes straight but I think we can all agree that the road can get hard. Sure we all post those picture perfect Facebook posts of our children giving each other a sweet hug with the caption “my world”, but what no one knows is that we moved the clutter in the living room floor so it wouldn’t show in the picture, and just after we snapped the photo, the two-year-old pushed the seven-year-old who yelled she’s a “MEAN BABY” because he can’t hit her back and everyone went to bed crying. That’s real life….
For years I bought into the lie that perfection was the goal. Let me tell you that this will drive you absolutely crazy and leave you with unbelievable worry and guilt. A few years ago, after a major life altering event, I learned that although perfection is praised in our society, authenticity is a much better route. One thing I have learned is that I was made to be me, no one else. I was given very specific talents, gifts, and abilities, and if I spend my life trying to be like someone else or trying to obtain perfection, I will most certainly lose myself. Therefore, I have spent the past five or so years getting to know myself. What am I really good at, what could use some work, what I need to let go of, what’s worth keeping? I realized that I needed to make some major changes in order to live the life I was created for. My goal was and is to find the “me” I was born to be and use my strengths to chase dreams. All the while, learning my weaknesses and asking for help. If you too are a recovering perfectionist you can only imagine the agony of asking for help and admitting weakness, but it will set you free!!! If you are interested in attempting such a journey I’ve provided a few tips in no particular order…..
- Find a friend you trust and have honest conversations about who you are and where you are going.
- Eat chocolate
- Get real about where you really are in regards to your spiritual, financial, and relational world. Stop the fake, it only benefits the Kardashians.
- Exercise, I know, I know, I know – I hate every moment of my work-out, but it does clear your mind and helps you focus. I also understand that this is a clear contradiction to #2 but it also may allow you to partake a little more in #2.
- Pray honestly and frequently – I do realize that not everyone who reads this blog is a Christian, but this is my list and this is what I do. You could always exercise more I suppose.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously – calm down, relax and give yourself a break. This is a process.
- Go to counseling….I can’t stress this enough. If you want to make real changes in your life, ask a professional. This was hard for me but honestly made an unbelievable difference.
- You may need more chocolate after counseling. Then more exercise.
- Be intentional with your time and relationships. Pay attention to how much time you waste watching TV, scrolling through social media (after you read this blog of course), etc.
- Start now… stop procrastinating. If you know YOU need work, start now. Start small but keep moving forward in the right direction.
Remember I’m not a professional and there are many more steps, but a good even number 10 makes this recovering perfectionist so happy. Please add to the list…..